Consequences Be Damned
by Syynex
Summary: You might think that after leaving with jiraiya at 5, naruto grew up to be a sage. Because he couldn't possibly have been courupted by the red-light districs and the criminal underground, right?


**I'm putting this chapter back up because someone pointed out that I had misspelled Jiraiya, which is kind of embarrassing, as i had looked up the correct spelling.**

* * *

Two figures approached the gates of Konoha. They were roughly the same height, at about 6'2 (191 cm), and walked confidently towards their destination, well one did.

The older one was Jiraiya, the toad sage, and the younger one was one Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto. Jiraiya, being him, hadn't changed since the day he had left with a five-year old Naruto, nearly fourteen years ago. Naruto, on the other hand, had changed dramatically.

One might think he had become a sage, or a powerful ninja. Walking around in robes and carrying a scroll like his sensei, maybe he has long, bishi hair, and maybe if you hadn't realized I'm masking fun of other writers, you should know that you're a sad excuse for a human being.

Be realistic, how responsible is Jiraiya? He's not, simple as that. While he dragged Naruto across the world, visiting seedier parts of towns and villages, he left the impressionable young boy unattended and unsupervised.

Brilliant idea, it's not like he could possibly be corrupted after fourteen years of living amongst criminals in the underground where Jariya's contacts met with him, or around brothels and bars in the red-light districts.

The fool who let the toad sage care for the blonde should be kicked in the balls. I say balls because no female would ever leave a young boy alone with the super pervert. They, at least, had common sense when it came to young boys known to emulate what they see.

The blonde boy had some things that stayed the same, not many, but some. We'll start with those.

First, he still had his blond hair. It was a little duller, closer to the shade most Yamanaka had, and was in a style similar to that of his father, Namikaze Minato, though it wasn't as tall, his bangs came down to partially cover his eyes in some places, and it came out from the sides more in the back.

Secondly, well, actually, that was about it. His hair was still blond, not the same shade, but still blond. Other then that, pretty much everything else had changed.

His once blue eyes were red, not the vibrant red of the Kyuubi, but a dull, faded red. While they once had shown curiosity, happiness, excitement, and innocence, now they held nothing but boredom and disinterest in his surroundings.

The whisker marks that were once on his face had disappeared, replaced by a cross-shaped scar that ran down his right cheek, almost like a tear.

He wore no shirt, leaving his torso exposed. His muscles weren't impressive, but they were defined and easily seen. He had a single tattoo, a square-like zero printed over his heart in black.

He wore dark blue jeans that fit well, not skinny jeans for men without balls, and not insanely baggy pants. These jeans were tucked into plain grey sneakers with white laces, not something one would spare more than a glance at. He wore a necklace, a simple black string that only had about an inch or two of slack when pulled taunt.

As he walked towards the village his hands were stuffed in his pockets and a cigarette that would need replacing soon hung out of his mouth.

"You can at least look a little interested about going back to Konoha." Commented Jiraiya as he turned to his companion. "And get that damn cigarette out of your mouth! What have I told you about those?!"

Naruto flicked away his cigarette and immediately preceded to light a new one with a snap of his fingers. He didn't understand why Jiraiya cared. He hadn't exactly raised him, and any negative effects of smoking were negated by both his Kyuubi and Uzumaki healing factors.

"What did I tell you about the shits I give?" he shot back at the sage.

The older man scowled. "You lost them in some girl's pants."

A smirk crawled across the nineteen year-old's face. "Precisely."

Naruto had began sleeping around ever since his sixteenth birthday, his first being a woman at a brothel whom Jiraiya was flirting with. In the end, she charged the toad sage, and he walked off without his virginity.

Good times.

Naruto turned to the sage. "Why are we walking to Konoha?" he asked. It's not like Jiraiya had giant toads that could get them there faster, or reverse summon them back to Konoha…oh, wait a minute, he did!

The super pervert muttered something under his breath.

"What was that? I didn't catch that, Ero-Sennin."

"I said I made a joke about Ma's cooking being inedible." Admitted Jiraiya.

"Che, maybe to you, she makes me good food, I can still taste the last triple-chocolate cake she gave me."

"Lucky punk." Mumbled the sennin. He still didn't know why Ma always made Naruto normal food, when he, the gallant Jariya, was fed worms and bugs. Perhaps being so accepted had it's drawbacks.

"Not luck, something about compensation for how I was raised under your care." Though he didn't show it often, Naruto had a strong dislike, to put it mildly, for the toad sage. He was taken from the village to be trained and cared for, not abandoned on unfamiliar streets.

The perverted old man flinched at the jab and the reminder of how he had failed both his student, who was like a son to him, and his student's son, who was his godson.

"That was a low blow." He said sadly. Unfortunately for him, Naruto didn't care, so being sad was pointless.

"You call that a 'low blow'?" asked Naruto "You should've seen that girl in Kumo, she was better then that Kusa chick!"

"Stop reminding me of your luck with women, it's unfair that a little gaki like you can get it easier then me." Tears were streaming down Jiraiya's face and Naruto could have sworn he saw a storm cloud above his head.

"Knock it off, if you cry anymore your tears will put my cigarette out. This is one smuggled from Kiri, you know how damn expensive these are with the war. Over or not, these things are a pain in the ass to get a hold of, Kiri's more concerned with stability then making cigarettes for some reason."

Jiraiya stopped instantly. If there was one thing he knew, and he knew quite a lot, it's that you don't mess with Naruto's tobacco, booze, or women unless you're trying to answer the question 'does god exist?'.

It took another five minutes for them to reach the gates of Konoha, by then Naruto looked a little more interested. Not much, but at least somewhat.

"Why are we going back, again? I was paying more attention to the sake and girls when you were explaining it." asked Naruto, craning his neck up to look at the older man next to him.

"Tsunade became the new Hokage about three years ago, she wanted me to return. Even if it was four years ago, we're still weakened from the Oto invasion. She needed my presence in Konoha to deter others who might consider finishing what Orochimaru had started."

Explained the super pervert. He still didn't know how his godson felt about Konoha, but he hoped the time away from the village helped calm him down, though with his luck the villagers would reignite his hatred.

"che, whatever." replied the uncaring teen.

It was silent for a moment before;

"Any good bars or brothels here?"

Jiraiya's hand found it's way to his face. "Is that all you think about, gaki?"

"I think about my smokes." Defended Naruto, currently in the process of lighting a new one.

"So, are there any? Or do I just have to pick up chicks elsewhere?"

"There are bars, but Konoha doesn't have any brothels or gambling dens, well, legal ones, anyway." answered the sage, the sage who was currently regretting his decision to bring Naruto with him, both out of Konoha and back to it.

They had passed the gate, after checking in, and were walking down the main road towards the Hokage tower.

A moment passed before Naruto asked an extremely important question.

"Why the hell am I following you to the tower? Fuck this shit, I'm not a ninja, I don't have to report back. The bars are calling me, later Ero-sennin."

With that he left down one of the side streets, searching for a decent place to get drunk, or attempt to, his tolerance was more than Gamabunta's, and that was scary.

Jiraiya could only sigh and continue walking. How would he explain what happened to Tsunade's godson over the years? He was fucked, and he knew it.

* * *

Naruto sat on a stool, countless empty bottles of sake around him. "Got any stronger shit?" he asked the bartender. This sake didn't do anything for him, he wasn't even buzzed.

"Stronger?" asked the bartender. "I wasn't even supposed to sell you that stuff."

"You think I care? Gimme' five of your strongest." Payment for the five bottles and a 'little' extra was passed to the barkeep, who accepted it with a nod of thanks and went to get the alcohol.

Someone sat to his right, but he didn't care enough to find out who.

"Wow, gaki, did you drink all that? I'm impressed." spoke the voice. It was female, and he would say early twenties, perfect.

"Impressed? Because I drank this water? I'm not even buzzed, I hope whatever shit the bartender's bringing back is better." he answered in complete honesty. A new cigarette made it to his mouth while he waited.

"Not even buzzed, eh?" The voice asked. "Well how about a friendly drinking competition with whatever you ordered."

Naruto let out a sigh. "You just want free drinks."

The voice didn't try to deny it. "Yep." it spoke cheerfully.

He turned slightly to see her face. She wore a wide grin and had purple, pineapple-like hair. When she opened her eyes again they were brown and pupil-less.

"And what's the name of the woman I'm buying drinks for?" he asked.

"I am the sexy and single Mitarashi Anko!" she declared with pride.

"Definitely sexy." he muttered loud enough for her to hear. Her grin just got wider.

"So what's a boy like you doing in a bar anyway?" she asked after a moment of silence.

His reply was short and simple. "Drinking."

"Shirtless?" she inquired.

"I could ask you the same." he said. That was true, her fishnet didn't exactly count as a shirt. Sure it was a nice image, but it still didn't count as a shirt.

She rubbed the back of her head and chuckled sheepishly. "Yeah, I guess your right."

Naruto looked around. Where was that damn bartender? What could possibly take so long.

When the barkeep finally returned he had five bottles in one hand and some legal shit in the other.

"I have to warn you," he spoke. "I nor this bar are responsible for anything that may happen to you as a result of consuming this beverage. Please sign here if you wish to continue."

Without a seconds hesitation Naruto signed and grabbed the bottles.

"Are you really going to drink _that_?" asked Anko, slightly concerned for the wellbeing of both this boy and herself.

"I'm going to do it," he answered. "consequences be damned."


End file.
